Tobias and I had a good week. We spent the first part of the week at home, catching up on cleaning and laundry (we are still catching up!). We hung out with Kyle and Liz on Wednesday, there last day in beautiful Alaska. I've said this before, but it was so good to have them visit. They have arrived in Okinawa safe and sound and are slowly getting settled. I can't wait to go visit them! Perhaps next summer, we shall see.
I've been organizing Tobias' room this week, getting it cleaned up for him to have some more play space, and getting it ready for another baby to be in and out of it. I set up the gate in front of his door and was able to let him play while I continued to run around and finish up cleaning. It was nice to have a safe place for him to play for a bit. We were pleasantly surprised to receive a package that same day, from Grandpa and Grandma (Thomas' parents). I let Tobias help me open the box, he had too much fun pulling all the things out, looking at them briefly, tossing them behind him, and digging in for more! What did he enjoy the most? The letter and paper articles that were for me. What is it with babies and paper?! It was fun to get a box from family ( Tobias definitely enjoyed it!). Thanks Mom and Dad!
Our biggest joy this week was video chatting with Daddy for the first time! Tobias just loved it! The pictures below depict it all. It was such a breath of fresh air to be able to SEE and talk to Thomas. He enjoyed talking to and seeing Tobias so much, it was beautiful. I am so thankful for technology! I think back to the World Wars, Vietnam, and even 18 years ago when my Dad deployed for a year to Korea (wow it's been 18 years!) and how those moms, wives, and families depended on letters, and sometimes a phone call from their loved ones. I get to see my soldier! Women like my mom are really amazing.
Thomas is doing really well. He's been going to the gym, and they even got to go to church this week (something he was really hoping to do). He said it was good and they enjoyed it. He gave me a small list of things he and his team would like, so I'll get that out in an e-mail. He sends his love to family and friends, and thanks you all for your support. He mentions that in e-mails often.
Well I've been reading some more and I've been so inspired lately, I can not help but share it. I am actually reading several books right now. I have my "I'm rocking Tobias to sleep book" my "curled up with a hot cup of tea book" my "I need to read something encouraging now book" etc. I read when I can, it may only be half a chapter or less at a time, but what I've had the chance to read has been immensely helpful. The book, "Loving the Little Years- Motherhood in the Trenches" By Rachel Jankovic has been especially helpful to me lately. This woman is amazing, she has 5 children under the age of 5! She wrote this book for me! Okay so not exactly for me, but for moms, moms with little ones, moms who have their hands full, moms who need to know somethings will not last forever and we will make it through! The chapter that stuck out to me this week is titled Watch Your Language (not what you think, but stick with me here) let me share some of this chapter with you.
"Another way we can do damage to ourselves is through the use of totally innocent words that we use to allow ourselves something. I remember thinking sometimes when the twins were little I had better stop being overwhelmed....God gave me this to do. I may not be overwhelmed about it. I can try as hard as I can, and maybe fail sometimes....but I may not be overwhelmed. Actually, I may be overwhelmed but I may not say that I am overwhelmed! The words have a real power over us. If you say it, you allow it for yourself. You give yourself that little bit of room to say, "But I can't!" "
"Do you like to dwell on the discouragement? Do you spend time not working but tallying the work that you think is too much for you?...Instead of spending time telling yourself stories in which you are given too much to do, come up with some simple coping tactics. In that same early and intense phase with the twins, I developed the twenty-minute rule. If things started seeming really out of control, I would look at the clock and not the time. Then I would tell myself that in twenty minutes this would be over. If I just kept my head down and did the work, twenty minutes was all I needed....What was it? A moment. It passes. But when it passes, you will be very glad if all you did was work right through it. No self-pity, no tears, no getting worked into a dither. Look at the clock, look at the work you need to do, and bear down. The super intensity will almost always be over in twenty minutes!"
Oh how I wish I could look at the clock, look at the work I have to do around the house, the bills, the dogs, myself and Tobias, note the time and in twenty-minutes Thomas walks through the door! I know she's not necessarily talking about long term stress-ers like deployments, but the idea still applies. Developing coping skills, instead of curling up in a ball and feeling defeated. Taking the work that's in front of me, noting the time, and bearing down and doing it, no tears, no self-pity, just working straight through. Taking things one piece at a time, not all at once (something my mom has been trying to teach me for as long as I can remember). That's why I am counting this deployment in weeks, that's why I am blogging. I have a long way to go some days. Some days I want to lay in bed and feel defeated, but I know in the end it won't make the time go faster, and it won't make me feel better. It will most likely put me in a bad mood. So I get up, make a short to do list, and start working. Soon, the day is over, I smile at what I've accomplished, and feel satisfied that one more day is done.
Well, I've got some dishes to do and a little boy to tickle while I get him dressed. Have a blessed day my friends and family!
Much Love!
~Iris
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